Hello, once again!! As promised earlier, I'll be bombarding my frustrations and anguish through this platform and will try and search for my lost sanity.
Prior mid term, I thought, okay, lets just go with the flow and try to stay afloat. After the mid term I'll try and reorganise things so that I'll be in a better position to gather knowledge as well as score well in exams.
Till now, I have horribly failed!
Why ? Primarily, as I see, lack of discipline is the main culprit. I have to cutdown on all the things that waste time and is not at all productive in any way. But why am I unable to do that ? Because, almost all the things that will bear the brunt, are part of my favourite activities, like chatting, (over net or phone, sometimes both!), surfing the net, watching movies etc. Moreover, the atmosphere here, is like, something or the other is always going on and if you fail to match up the pace, you'll be tossed behind. Thank God, I did not get in IIMA, I have heard that compared to it, C is rather chilled!
Writing a bad exam has almost become a norm now and not surprisingly my senses have grown numb. But, yesterday, the stats quiz has given me a jolt. It went horribly bad, but that is not the point. The point is, I was sitting blank in the hall, for most of the time, wondering what to do with the questions! I was dejected, disappointed and sad. What have I done to myself? I was never a very good student but I took pride in me whatever I knew I could do and this is definitely not something beyond my reach or capability. Then why each time the same cycle of events?
Well, I think the time has come to be a lot more strict with myself. I hope that will do. But, I fear another thing. Sometimes, I wonder, if the last 6 years (4 in undergrad in JU and 2 in TCS) has robbed me of my intelligence and agility to perform. But then again, then again I do not think that sheer luck can bring anyone to IIMC in the first place. That is the only hope I have now and that gives me strength to fight.
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