Taking your woman for shopping: A survival guide

From the day the realizations dawned on me that women like to shop (speaking from general perception and no bias) and it can become a tedious experience for men who accompany them, I have tried to sensitize myself to the entire ordeal. Like any methodical and logical person, I started out associating myself with such exercises with other men, women and sometimes single-handedly taking on a girl to understand what it takes and how to be able to contribute positively. Over the years I started gaining a confidence that I could handle it when the D-Day comes and I have to accompany my lady, for shopping. A sense of pride filled me that something that is seemingly unachievable can be mastered through planning, dedication and effort. 

Let me digress a bit and share with you a particular incident which really tested me and at the same time had boosted my confidence. A female colleague of mine had asked me to accompany her after office on a weekday to help her buy some shoes. We went to Marathahalli and started scouting all those shops lining across the street, from the sellers in pavement to the ones in their fancy showrooms and factory outlets. We hopped on from one shop to another as she rejected all the choices offered to her by those sincere salespersons. Around 1.5 hours later, when I was almost at the verge of losing my patience (but did not do so), she decided to go into one of those makeshift shops that sell only garments. She suddenly remembered that she had to buy some track pants and felt overjoyed that she could finally buy them. 

Now, how one should prepare himself for these predicaments. In this blog, we would try and search an answer to this question. This can and will happen to all of us and we can only take preemptive measures to mitigate the disastrous effects these have on our peace of mind.

Firstly, we have to understand what are the driving factors that drive women on a shopping frenzy, especially when shopping in areas like New Market area in Kolkata, or in Sarojini in Delhi or in Commercial street in Bangalore. My experience tells me that the following are the buzzwords: SALE, FIXED PRICE and DISCOUNT. These draw women to the shops at least for a glance around, the driving force being, buying something at a much cheaper rate than her friend has bought. Some women derive a pleasure just by bargaining with the shopkeeper on the price while fictitiously insisting that her friend had bought the same thing at a lower price and finally not buying it at all! Some women just like to glance on all the display and commenting on each of them, a thing which we have come to know as window shopping, whereas for some women shopping is like a stress buster like chocolate!

So, how one can survive this?

Simple, if you cannot beat it, be a part of it and try to be something more than a porter. You may get to pick on some fashion nuggets that were completely beyond your comprehension level, like t-shirts with horizontal stripes make you look fat! Also, she may have a new found admiration for your taste and effort, and in due time you can reap those benefits suitably.

The first requirement, off course, is that you have to have patience. Last night, when I was out with my lady, I happened to notice a hapless guy, looking completely lost and overwhelmed, was being tugged through the narrow streets by her girlfriend. If you do not want to be that guy, read on!

As I was saying, the first thing you require is patience. You must control the rate of burning, and minimize it as much as possible so that you may survive the ordeal. If you are a hot-tempered guy, practise meditation!

Secondly, you should always encourage her to go for more. That has a two-fold benefit. One is that, you would not be crossing her that being out with her is boring you to death and second, she may get overwhelmed with all the things that she may feel tired and call it a day much earlier.

Thirdly, you should prove to her that other than being a lowly porter, you can be of use as well with your taste, and can actually help her to pick the perfect dress from the pile. You will be able to earn some respect and will be able to differentiate yourself from all those ‘jerks’ she had earlier been with. This may give you insights about her taste and choices, which you can use to surprise her later.

So, last night when I was taking my final exam, I was confident of cracking the code! How did I fare? Well, if you, at this point, are expecting that I had aced it, there’s no one more naive than you! I was humbled by the experience. Just when I thought, that okay, she was showing a certain pattern in picking out clothes from the pile, and all I have to do is follow it and pick out the next thing that she would consider to buy, BOOM, reality hit and with nothing more than a cursory glance and twitch of her neck, she rejected them one by one. Soon, my enthusiasm gave way to disappointment as I lost all hope.

However, I was amazed to see a shopkeeper’s skill. One look at her, and he could confidently say if the dress would fit her size or not. On the other hand, after eying so many girls over the years, we are miles away from such precision skill!

At the close of the day, I was feeling dejected that all my years of training myself had gone to gutters. When I thought that I could just wow her with my skills, she made me eat a humble pie. As we were returning in an auto, however, I realized that all she wanted of me was just to be there, hanging around with her, in one of those times she cherishes so much. She has allowed me to be a part of that ritual, and I was just glad for that, as shopping for a girl is a religious thing. So, as I watched her blowing away more than 5k in 1.5 hours, I insisted on playing my part, to be a humble lowly porter!

"Chain" of Thoughts

“Man is born free, and everywhere he is in shackles. “
~ Jean Jacques Rousseau

I came across this quote a couple of days ago while I was reading an article. I am aware who Rousseau was, but I am not familiar with any of his ideas or works. More than a couple of centuries ago, this French philosopher, and composer had said those very words, in his native language. And I could not help but think how relevant it is still today. And through this we get a dichotomous picture of human effort. One hand we get people relentlessly in quest of their goals and on the other hand, some of his fellow mates are chained. They are stationed in one corner in their life not realising another golden saying, “a rolling stone gathers no moss”. Perhaps, they are waiting for someone else to get them out of there. What they fail to realise is that the power to release lies within them.

What would I see if I delve into the reasons of their inactivity in the first place? The first and foremost important thing is to be able to identify that there is a shackle, which is limiting your movements. I have seen that mostly people do not realise that they are actually chained in their thoughts, in their actions and attribute the inaction to several extraneous factors, mostly the environment and other people in general. A classic example of this is public awareness of practices of cleanliness. A common excuse that people give is that they are only following others. This phenomenon can be explained through game theory as well whereby each individual gains by undercutting not realising that by acting together combined fruits will be richer. This phenomenon christened as “Prisoner’s Dilemma” is a very famed one but I am not a student of economics. What I want to point out is that people chained in their own murky thoughts fail to see the larger picture. I wonder why people only follow other people who in turn follow the first lot. It is like a circular vicious loop that goes on and on. How can a person get out? The first step is to realise that he is in a loop, in shackles.

Even if some do realise what makes it improbable that they do not try to break free? Possible reasons can be they are tired of trying or they are not trying hard enough. Here also they blame their incapability to the environment sometimes to their family as well. Some are actually so comfortably cocooned in their cosy corners that they are afraid of breaking the shackle and diving deep. They are so used to the discomfort and the pain of being chained, that they are frightened by the very thought of liberty and freedom. In this regards, I remember what I had read in the book “Eleven Minutes” by Paulo Coelho. Here is an excerpt.

“You experienced pain yesterday and you discovered that it led to pleasure. You experienced it today and found peace. That's why I'm telling you: don't get used to it. because it's very easy to become habituated; it's a very powerful drug. It's in our daily lives, in our hidden suffering, in the sacrifices we make, blaming love for the destruction of our dreams. Pain is frightening when it shows its teal face, but it's seductive when it comes disguised as sacrifice or self-denial. Or cowardice. However much we may reject it, we human beings always find a way of being with pain, of flirting with it and making it part of our lives.' 'I don't believe that. No one wants to suffer.' 'If you think you can live without suffering, that's a great step forward, but don't imagine that other people will understand you. True, no one wants to suffer, and yet nearly everyone seeks out pain and sacrifice, and then they feel justified, pure, deserving of the respect of their children, husbands, neighbours, God. Don't let's think about that now; all you need to know is that what makes the world go round is not the search for pleasure, but the renunciation of all that is important.

'Does a soldier go to war in order to kill the enemy? No, he goes in order to die for his country. Does a wife want to show her husband how happy she is? No, she wants him to see how devoted she is, how she suffers in order to make him happy. Does the husband go to work thinking he will find personal fulfilment there? No, he is giving his sweat and tears for the good of the family. And so it goes on: sons give up their dreams to please their parents, parents give up their lives in order to please their children; pain and suffering are used to justify the one thing that should bring only love.”

Do people actually think when they do something? Anything? Do they realise what they do, why they do? Or is it simply doing things “that are to be done” or doing out of practise? Do we question ourselves to understand this reason, the rationale behind doing ‘something’? If the answer is no, then we should better start as soon as possible. Because herein lies the key to the first step, identifying the chain. In this regard, a movie might be referred to. We can follow Neo and his single ideal, to question the “truth” around.

Nescafe India Ads

Nescafe has signed bollywood heartthrob Deepika Padukone as their Brand Ambassador in India and has launched a series of advertisements featuring her and the actor Purab Kohli. Till now, they have released two ads, showing the story from the boy's perspective and from the girl's perspective.

From the Boy's Perspective

While entering his flat the guy notices that Deepika is his new neighbour. He's quite excited as well as a litle nervous. He thinks that from then on they would be meeting quite regularly. But, then he thinks what if he's shooed away by his gatekeepers or what if Deepika smashes the door to his face. He concludes that she mixes with a different crowd and probably he does not have any chance. Then he sips on the black coffee and we hear "The bold taste of Nescafe, Switch on the best in you". Then he decides that she's his new neighbour and he's going to ask her out for coffee. He darts across his flat, opens the door, and the screen says, "The action continues" with one cup of hot coffee.

From the Girl's Perspective

Deepika, while entering her flat notices a cute guy residing in the flat opposite to her. She also notices that he has a badminton racket with him. Being the daughter of the Badminton Legend herself (and quite a good player) she thinks to invite him for a badminton game. But then she hesitates thinking that he may turn out to be a psycho stalking her everywhere with a badminton racket or his whole clan might come over. The media might also become too interested. Then she sips on the black coffee and we hear "The bold taste of Nescafe, Switch on the best in you". Then she thinks that she's thinking of 'filmy cautions' and decides to ask him for a badminton game. She darts across her flat, opens the door, and the screen says, "The action continues" with one cup of hot coffee.

In general, the ads are superbly made. Both the ads are about 50 sec long and the protagonists are looking really good, be it the innocent looks of the guy or cute looks of the girl. The star value actually catches audience attention and the brand is shown only towards the end. But the audience would remain calm, listening to the story telling. Picturisation is good and so is the background score, catchy and melodious with a little playful touch.

The ads are clearly targeted to the youth as Deepika is the star attraction but the emotional connection which the ad highlights will appeal to all age groups. It is trying to convey that the 'bold taste' of Nescafe urges people to think straight and not too much into things, urges to 'go out and get it'. Keep aside all prejudices and doubts and 'switch on the best in you'.

Quite a shift from its regular ad connecting a morning with a cup of hot coffee, 'the taste that gets you starting' with no popular public face. Moreover, it showed regular black coffee and not the frothy espresso with milk. It did not show the container or the word 'classic' appended generally at the end of Nescafe. It did not stress on the rich aroma or the purity of beans used. Probably, Nescafe is trying to project that it also makes strong coffee and trying to address that market, the niche once targeted by Bru.

Anyway, the packaging is good and am eagerly waiting to see the rest of the ads.

Uninor Ad

Uninor, the JV of Norway's Telenor and India's Unitech Limited is going full steam at this moment amidst speculations that Telenor is looking to sell off its 67.25% stake in the company. It has already rolled out its services in 13 circles and hopes to achieve EBITDA break-even in another 3 years. The new television ads that the company has launched is totally in sync with its policy of capturing the mass.

The ad features a man with his girlfriend talking to her sister and brother-in-law over the phone. The man is seen grumbling and ruing that his girlfriend will exhaust the paltry balance that he has. Moreover, its the month end, and so he's a bit tied up with money. But, fortunately, he has a uninor connection that gives him discount and so he won't be 'abused' (joote nehi khane honge) by his girlfriend.

The picturisation is a little dull, but the content and its subtle humour are quite good. The company essentially talks about giving power to individuals, highlighted by its tag line, 'Ab Mera Number Hai' (Now, it's my number). The audience would be able to connect with the ad in atleast two places, making two ends meet when it's a month end and a guy's helplessness when it comes to dealing with his girlfriend! The length of the ad(32 sec) is just enough not to bore us, because a long ad with no star attraction fails to catch audience attention for long. It also tries to catch the audience by using the magic word 'discount' which the Indians absolutely love to have, be it in anything.

Overall, I'll say it's a nice ad and it succeeds on the two most important occasions, catching attention and driving the brand name through the ad through the proposed value addition Uninor provides.

YAPPE !!!

Right now, my END term exams are going on and those of you who are thinking that I am blurting out some kind of sound in relation to my good performance in exams, I would like to mention that appearences can be deceptive. YAPPE stands for Yet Another Poor (or Pathetic) Performance in Exam. Like I have said, that I would be using this platform to channel my frustration, burdening others with my misery! (But I hoped that I did not have to use this so often!)

Today was my stats exam and those of you who had read my earlier post know that I suck in stats! End term wasn't much different. However, I really had put in much effort this time, paining myself overnight to understand the concepts But curse my ill luck, that the area where I had little clue about things was in abundance in the paper. Almost everything has started to become a nightmare now and believe me I am trying very hard to wake up. I just pray that I somehow pass my end term getting the bare minimum 4.5 gpa.

Right now, I am so pissed off with myself, with my marks, that even if a beautiful girl approaches me, not only I might shoo her away, but I might scare the hell out of her as well. 

Am feeling very low, very sorry and almost hating myself for allowing to end up in such a pitying state of affairs! I have to scrap for marks to hope to just make it to the other side.

WTF !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4 Days away from END Term

I am wondering what terms to use to state the present condition explicitly, common terms like confused, Frustrated, Dumbfounded, Anguished or exotic terms like infuriated, exasperated, perplexed, garbled, befuddled (Do not worry, I have checked the meanings of these words before typing ! :P).

End term is just 4 days away and am completely in a soup. To give you an idea (that won't change your life though!) I have 6 subjects to study for this exam. Among the three so called 'globe' subjects like Marketing, Organizational Behaviour  and Environmnent and Development, I have not started with the last two. Among others like Financial Accounting, Statistics and Microeconomics (I know, they sound really scary!) the former, I have lost almost all hope. I pray that I would be given some marks for the approach, as I do not hope to balance my debit and credit side! Micro and Stats I thought would be less harsh, but that's a thing of the past now. Tomorrow, we have a stats quiz, and I started with Estimation and it came down uopn me so badly, that I had to vent out all the accumulating emotions of desperation.

feeling a little better now !! Lets get back to books! Have to pass !!!

Idling during the classes

The following piece actually came out, when I was attending the last BS or Behavioural Sciences class. It was in MCHV and the room being a circular one has horrible acoustics. The subject though was quite intriguing but it miserably failed to keep my sleepy eyes open let alone hold my 'intrigue'. I was dosing on and off in the class and then realised that the prof is catching people falling asleep. (Omkar actually woke me up ! But, he jsut returned past favours !! :D)

By that time, I was not interested to pay any attention and was wondering how to kill the time. I saw Omkar writing something and it gave me the idea. It started with the BS class but helped me even in the Environment and Development class as well !! :)

Without further ado, I humbly present:-

I was standing there
My heart full of tormenting emotions
I was pulp. I was stone.
But I managed not to show.

She was happy. She was sad,
An apparent contradiction she had.
She talked. She smiled.
But her eyes did not shine.

She hugged me warm. She hugged me tight.
Her breath rustled through my hair.
Quietly, I stood there upright.
And then, fled away from her silent stare.


I have not given it a name, people can suggest me one.